I have this friend. He’s a new friend. He’s a guy friend.
If we get really specific he’s a friend of a friend I’ve danced with a few times.
He messages me every day trying to get to know me and his game is obvious, even for your favorite Queen of Insecurities here. He flat asked me out once but I legitimately was out of town that day (unlike this other time, with this German kid, sorry, story for another day).
Sadly, I have no interest at all. I would like to keep him neatly packed into the friend zone, but he messages me every day without fail and apparently everything he hears just makes him more persistent. He follows me on every form of social media and whenever I post something new, I get a message.
“Hi Tais. I noticed your post on IG where you posted a Bastille lyric under a photo of your cat. What kinds of music do you listen to?” (He hasn’t actually sent me this exact message, yet, but I have definitely posted my cat on Instagram with a loosely related Bastille lyric for the caption. I AM that girl).
I answer him, and try to be brief as possible to help him get the hint, but I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I don’t want to ignore him, that’s rude and also just REALLY obvious. And rude.
I also don’t think continuing to answer his questions is doing us any good either.
So because I’m a fail, this will probably continue on for a while yet, but the point of all this is not how hard I fail in the old romance department.
The point is, the other day one of his questions was, out of nowhere: Tais, what’s your MBTI personality type?
In the words of Dave Barry I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
I copy and pasted it from Facebook (minus my name) to make sure it was identical, punctuation and all!
Is that a weird question for anyone else?
I studied Psychology for a while so to me, it seems hyper-clinical and invasive and just a weird thing to ask of someone you weren’t actively head-shrinking.
For those of you unaware: the MBTI stands for “Myers Briggs Type Indicator” and its a questionnaire that categorizes your personality into one of 16 types based on how you use your perception and judgement. You can read more on it here and take a free version of the MBTI here. Its fun.
If no one is demanding that you share your type with them.
The two times I’ve taken the MBTI, I never shared my results with anyone other than my best friend and that was because she knew me so well she could guess or probably answered everything on my behalf with the same results.
Sharing a personality indicator to someone who is mostly a stranger? Horrifying. Not doable.
Where is the line of appropriate when it comes to trying to date someone?
I used to get snippy when people asked my race at bars.
It’s apparently an acceptable pick up line. “What are you?”
I’d get confused, they’d explain “well clearly you’re mixed but what are you?”
I’m sorry mofo, last time I checked I’m a human being and don’t really see any reason to give you a freaking lecture on my genealogy. Especially since you’re too drunk to appreciate it.
So my usual takeaway from that line is “Does my face look THAT weird?” Which I’ve yet to ask anyone. But I may some day. Would THAT be inappropriate?
I’ve had guys tell me I have a dimple in my cheek and it’s a good place for a dimple. Which isn’t offensive or intrusive, but is still pretty weird.
The list of weird approaches to hitting on girls goes on and on and I just do not understand the process behind most of them.
Maybe I just don’t understand men.
I mean CLEARLY I don’t understand men, but basic social convention was something I thought I had a handle on.
Psychological profiling as courtship, though?
Not the way to go in my book.